Saturday, January 25, 2014

I am all alone here and him there...


1 year after asar today...
Time really flies...

And what has happened for the past 1 year?
Nothing much except that I have found some new friends and old friends who suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Some alrite, some I wish they know that I am not ready for any relationship.
If I would ever.

And recently, I have been VERY kind to accept to do a favour for Shah. To do some lectures for his programme.  It is easier to get him out of my system... I think.

I hope by the end of the 11 hours of lectures that I have to deliver will be good for me to flush him out totally.! Amin.

And at the wee morning today, 25th January 2014, he has flown to Prague, one of my dream cities....
Alone, on his 1st wedding anniversary.


Monday, January 6, 2014



Lama tak menulis walaupun keadaan 'life' ni dah sepatutnya tak busy. Tapi..mana boleh tak busy kan?

After this injury I have on my knee since end of August, I have to slow down a bit. Itu pun kena marah because the swelling has not come down eversince the fall! Even with arcoxia daily and physiotherapy semua sakit makin teruk and I had to still walk with a crutch...still!

Mana la tak turun bengkak, whilst on MC I went to Penang for a conference, then to Kuala Kangsar fun weekend with the kids. Then I went home to JB, then I went to help out the flood victims in Terengganu.

I have just came back from a shopping trip (cum visiting my niece) in Bandung. Oh, yes..we visited my aunt Sara who lives in Jakarta. Her house is a 'must visit' hehe...nnt kecik hati pulak kan. So unique her house is, which is full of 'conflicting' themes which tells a story of almost all of her stays overseas as a diplomat's wife. Like fragile chinas to seat unta to many la..from Japan and US and Kabul and entah mana2. But whatever it is like, we were always welcomed there... Uncle Rahman who is now 88, is very fragile. As always, he almost always have difficulty in understanding my speech in Malay.. 'Aireen ngomongnya cepat sangat' (campur2 melayu javanese)

Luckily for me this time he did not corner me, to advise me for gaining weight again!
He used to tell me to take care of my health and my 'potongan badan'... oh, man...!

This week pulak kids dah start sekolah, and the 1st day of school...was...oh boy! I had to delay my breakfast till 4pm.

Today, I just suka2 masak2 nasi lemak for my collegues sebab macam dah mula boring... padahal I have so many new lectures to write! Arrghh...









OK then...

Till don't know when...

Have a good 2014 all...and may ALLAH Bless us all with His everlasting Rahmahs...



Wednesday, December 25, 2013

A year went by...


A year has gone by...
The last breakfast date...
The last date indeed.

The memories so bitter..

Today, I am flying away, far away leaving all these bitterness...


.... Menyampah!...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Pains here and there...


Half of the exams is over...Alhamdulillah. I feel half of the burden gone and quite relaxed now.
Only next week I will be travelling quite a bit. I will surely miss my babies at home.
One week is SO long...

Last night, I saw the news. I was saddened by the news of the victims of Haiyan in the Phillipines archipelago.
I asked Minmin and Yusuf if they would allow me to go and help those people in need.
Min reluctantly said yes... she said she wanted mommy but I said, they were many of her
'friends' - girls like her over there who don't have their mommies anymore because of the storm. Their houses were blown off... She just nodded her head to tell of me her approval. Yusuf was ever ready to say yes.. no mommy means PLAY! :)

My Minmin
Yusuf and Minmin and me after our dinner at Homst in Shah Alam.. yumms!
No, I have not given my name as yet but I would love to go and help... like arwah would. He would go without any hesitation. Now that my sabbatical is approaching very near, I am pretty excited to embark on some new projects... I hope all will materialise, AMIN.

Ever since I had been on crutches, I have developed a left ring trigger finger. It isespecially bad in the morning when I wake up. I have for the past 2 days 'campak' my cruthces and tried walking. Alhamdulillah dah boleh jalan with minor grinding pains on my knee but today I have to give in.. the pain is excrutiating! :(

Have a good week ahead all...!

Happpyyyy! exams almost over...!

I didn't think trigger finger is so painful... but it is! Gnawing pain just like my knee... the splint makes it worse in the mornings..
So, this too had gone off kena campak although it is supposed to be worn only when I sleep.

Anyway... I am off to go for a dinner treat now.
Selamat berbuka everyone!
NNI, I shall see you soon insyaALLAH.
Miss you loads babe!


Monday, November 4, 2013

Pretty ugly feeling....

1 st November 2013

I drove to work quite early. I was very hungry as I did not eat well for dinner.
I went straight to Rumah Universiti to fulfill my cravings of roti canai.

I waited for my nurse to arrive before I dig in...
While waiting for her, as usual I would see what my friends were up to in FB.

I was shocked to see I had a message from Shah...!
I was immediately put off food... :(

I didn't want to read his message at all even though I was like a cat, almost killed with curiosity. I ignored the text message and the whatsapp message as well.

Haven't he hurt me enough?

An hour later....
I read the message.
He wanted my help with his training programme for doctors doing his specialty.

Why me?!
I'm not the best person to help him out I think.

Just the day before, Auntie A and I was talking about him...
And there he was... In the picture of my life again...
I wonder what Allah wants me to do?

Anyway... Only after 6 hours after I read his messages did I have the courage to talk to him, as he wanted to discuss about it verbally.

It was surely good to hear his voice again but I was hurting and I hated him in a way for being able to hurt me still for just emerging from no where suddenly out of the blue ...

I don't know how I should feel anymore as I was still trying to heal from my pain he caused me all these while... Rejecting a few people along the way because i just don't want to get hurt again...

I so much wish he would continue to disappear like he did all these time, keeping  me wondering what I did wrong to him, what happened back then, what and why and how he had the heart to hurt me so much...

Of course.... no answer will matter anymore.. As everything is already too late ...

He will never be mine and I will never ever let anyone hurt me he did to me


Sunday, October 20, 2013

Conquering Rinjani with an injured knee...


I will just let the pictures do the talking.
The sunrise before my climb up Mount Rinjani
The mountain... a loooong way up!

Just before lunch.. it was scorching hot!
The team! Couldnt do it without them carrying all my bags!

The look of 'Penyesalan' I was too exhausted to even smile...

A friend who conquered the summit. I didn't, afraid of injuring my knee further.

A man performing the ablution
In the middle of the volcano- The Danau

Having lunch after our short but challenging descend of Rim 1 (of the volcanic crater)
The view on the way up Rim 2

The Rinjani with Anak Rinjani (the smaller volcano) in the middle of the lake/ danau

On ascending the second Rim (Rim 2)
Me at Rim 2 of Rinjani with Mount Agung (in Bali) on the background

A tourist had a fall in Gua Susu, fracrured her pelvis. . She was being carried up and down the mountain...
I just don't know how the men who carried her did it... surely not an easy task!
I was climbing with an already injured knee. I felt sharp pains on every single step and I 'protected' myself from the pain too much on going down the crater. And then... I fell AGAIN! This is after my fall... I just couldn't bend my knee and had to slide myself down.
My meniscus was really straining and one of my toenails flipped up, VERY PAINFUL!
Me on top of Rinjani and Mount Agung behind me

At last! I was in agony all the 12km way down the mountain with an injured knee..
We left Lombok Island and off to Gili Trawangan Island to wind down after the climb....
The sunset at Gili Trawangan
Gili Trawangan
A favourite mode of transport in Gili Trawangan
The sunset
Scrumptous JAGUNGGG!
I miss this Ikan Mujahir or was it Jawahir and lalapan.. sangat sedap!

Back at Lombok Island.....

After 2 days of rest, we left Gili and went back to Lombok to catch our flight home sweet home....
At last... we found Masakan Padang... we finished almost ALL of these!

Had a nice time winding down after the climb here at  Lombok Island

Me... after my fall and after which, I still ran on the injured knee...

That's all...
Too busy and too tired nowadays and busier days ahead of me...
Will be better once December comes, InsyaAllah...

I am undergoing some physiotherapy now for pain relief and I am already eyeing for a running event in January 2014, hopefully I can make it for that... AMIN!